Several years ago (pre-children) I attended a meeting for women scientists and they had a panel of successful women who had made names for themselves in the scientific community. The forum was answering questions about how to succeed as a woman in science. How do you balance the rigors of lab science with kids and life in general? I remember clearly one woman said, “The number one most important career decision you can make… is who you marry. The smartest decision I ever made was to marry my husband.” Now, marrying Dave was a decision I made out of young and unadulterated love! But it turns out, it was also the smartest decision I ever made mainly because of the kind of partner he has been in raising our three girls.
These days, women get a lot of support and recognition of the difficulties that come with trying to balance motherhood and work. This doesn’t make the job of being a mother any easier, nor does it make the juggling act that comes with trying to work outside the home while being a good mother any easier. But, at least we women are getting some recognition for the decisions we are having to make and the roles we are taking on. I actually think the Dads are getting a little shafted in this department.
As women have taken on more outside the home, Dads have taken on more inside. It’s not enough anymore for them to come home spent from the day at the office and plop into the lazy-boy with beer in hand. They need to be ready to help with the car pool, the homework, the laundry, the cooking and cleaning, the dirty diapers and potty training, and on and on and on. Dave (and lots more of our friends who are fathers) regularly hops into the mix and tackles whatever job needs to be done. He can change a diaper with one hand, dole out juice and snacks while avoiding arguments, swaddle like a mean-mo-fo, play princess and animal kingdom, build a bad-ass fort, give bubble baths, and even fix pretty good pigtails… all before or after being at the office for 8 hours.
I think our world is a better place due to this general shift in the caretaker roles. I see our own girls growing up loving their father, not only because he commands respect, but because he gives it too. He truly shares their lives with them in the small little moments that he makes time for them and participates fully in their upbringing. What an amazing gift from an amazing father.